I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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