I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Randomize
