i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
