Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
My vagina is officially offended.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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