she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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