I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
