So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
