I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
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