I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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