just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
