u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
