Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I wannas sexs uuuuu
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
