my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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