I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
