Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
