I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
