Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Randomize
