Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
