why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
50% drunk capacity currently
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Randomize
