Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
