repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
