Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
