I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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