R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
