my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
