Who did Billy Mays play for?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
