why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
