i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
