I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
