The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
