let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
