margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
