that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
