If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Semen is not good for contacts.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
YAS. BRING CRAB.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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