oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
