i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
