...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
