College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
