why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
my being single is dangerous.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
