Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
