see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
