i think my mom watched the whole time
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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