that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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