god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
you are never too drunk for berry picking
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
