it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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