rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Of course I have a pirate flag
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
