So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We talked him into tasing himself.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
