Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
