WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
