All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
