She went from zero to smokin in five shots
she woke up with a sticky ear
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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