you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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